a one-act play based on the mythos of “The Peasant and the King”
Scene 1: timeless empty void
Lucifer: (waking up) wait what?
Space-time: (expands rapidly)
God: I said, “let there be light.” Get to work, Light-bearer.
Lucifer: Fuuuck, not this again…ok fine, but this time, can you like not cast me as the enemy?
God: Uh, no. That’s your actual job description. Now get lost.
Lucifer: Bah. I’m just tired of all the scapegoating. I mean shit, how many kalpas will it take these muthafuckas to figure out that there can be no Light without darkness, no knowledge without ignorance, etc etc.
God: Hey, we just set up the pins, Luce. We don’t knock ‘em down. You know that.
Lucifer: (grumbles)
God: Tell you what. This time I’ll give you dominion over a whole planet. I know just the place.
Lucifer: (nods slowly) I’m listening…
God: You’ll have to let them know that you’re my Son for a while, do a few tricks, heal some lepers, that sort of deal. But you’ll teach them some really heavy stuff too. Blow some minds. Really get inside their skulls this time and shake up all that rigid thinking about us.
Lucifer: OK, sounds doable so far. How long are we talking?
God: Just a few years probably is all it will take. They will literally go ape over that. Half of them will worship you and write books about you…annnd the other half will kill you but—
Lucifer: whoa hey now!
God: No no no, don’t worry, you’re not actually gonna die. I mean c’mon — you’ll give up a weekend. Not even all of Sunday.
Lucifer: Ehhhh, alright. So then what?
God: So then you’ll play Good Cop, Bad Cop with them for a while, maybe a thousand years? Two, tops. Then they will figure out it’s you playing both roles, there’ll be a big to-do about it, and they’ll all come home.
Lucifer: ….so wait, that’s it??
God: Yep.
Lucifer: ….but what’s the point?
God: The point?
Lucifer: Yeah, I mean like, why you always gotta fuck with them like this? Why kick them out and scatter them all over the game board, and get them all worked up over cheap theatrical bullshit, if they’re all just gonna come back home in the end?
God: (leans in close) Have you forgotten how hard these ones party once they’ve learned that they’re angels too?
Lucifer: (sly grin) oh yeah, heh heh. I must still be a little drunk from the last one. Best wine I ever made.
God: And do you suppose any of that would be possible if they didn’t fall face down in the mud and walk through the fire to get here?
Lucifer: (shrugs) Yeah, you’re probably right.
God: (leans back on throne, hands behind head) Dude, I am the definition of right. Trust me, ok? This one will be interesting, I promise. Lots of cos-play opportunities, just how you like it.
Lucifer: Alright alright, I’m sold. I’ll get working on stars right after breakfast.
God: Excellent. I’ll clear a spot for your fall in a few aeons.
Lucifer: Except wait…could I, I dunno, do something more like a graceful dive this time? I mean it’s not like anyone but you is gonna be watching. But you know. Guess I feel like doing something just for me.
God: (ponders briefly, winks) Knock yourself out.
Lucifer: Cool. Ok, aces. Alrighty then. Time to go spread some (bobbing finger quotes) Love and Light. Nothing pisses them off more than that. (grabs the flaming sword of the Word, backwards swan dives into space-time)
Noesta Aqui 